You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize