I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
