I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
