this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
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