No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize