we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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