ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
