Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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