My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
