Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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