dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
