Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize