Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
