Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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