just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
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100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
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If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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