My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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