Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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