marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
