Dual....:-)
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
