His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
