And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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