How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
