Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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