I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize