Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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