My nipple is on Facebook.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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