i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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