i think my tv is drunk
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
