I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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