mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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