in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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