She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize