dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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