Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
