I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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