plz talk dirty to me
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
