The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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