Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
