Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
