i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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