i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
