i love accidental penises.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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