Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
my being single is dangerous.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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