oh god the rape fog is back!
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
