I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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