As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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