OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
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The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
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last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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