We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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