Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
