Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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