Soap is not a condiment
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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