I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
