He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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