i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
