I wanna bring you to show and tell
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
