Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize