I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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