Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
