Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
where are you?
Hypothermia
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
