I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
