I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
