I smell stomach acid.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
