I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
