i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
