Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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