Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You made out with two different species that night
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
