some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
All I want is dick and wine.
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