I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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