Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Terrible idea I love it
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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