I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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