It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My bed smells like the plague
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
