I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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