You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
