Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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