dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
